Looking Forward to Right Now
Who's got two thumbs and doesn't like to live in the moment?
Sorry, were you asking me about something? I was just thinking about something I'm looking forward to I'm doing next month.
You see, I am not a spur-of-the-moment person. I didn't even realize moments had spurs. Do moments ride horses? I hate horses.
I've started to value little moments, whether it's a fleeting way our little boy mispronounces a phrase or simply the passing of a season. Fortunately for me, I could live in early college football/autumn/pumpkin spice season all year long, so September-November is my happy place. It helps that the leaves' orange hues help my face blend in with nature so maybe I don't have to talk to people. Wishful thinking.
My version of spontaneity is planning to go to lunch with someone next week and then agree we'll decide where we want to eat in the car on the way there, but I've already thought about it and I'm going to use my ginger mind control powers to steer them to my idea.
In the life stage Carrie and I find ourselves in, moments matter. Our time is expensive. We have to make the present count, regardless if both kids took turns waking us up all night the night before (hypothetically speaking, of course). I schedule time for my writing projects and have to make the most of it.
Whether you're in a good moment or a bad moment right now, things won't stay like they are now forever. Unless Doc Brown's DeLorean shows up, there aren't any do-overs in life.
So one specific thing I've been doing is turning my phone off when I'm with my family. Not silent. Off.
I'd much rather live in my own head all the time...but the problem with that is there's only room for me in there. Even with my large melon, if I stew in my own thoughts all the time, I don't let anyone in. Maybe that's what it means to be open-minded. I'm going to have to spend some time by myself thinking about that.
I don't think I'll look back with regret someday if I put off a project or two, but I will have regrets if I recall the moments I let slip by because I was working or actively avoiding engaging with people. It's something I'm working on. It's like eating vegetables--I naturally don't want to, but I know it's the right thing for me.